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Please maximize this page for easier reading.
This is my story with my Panic Disorder called Agoraphobia.
Many have asked me how I got my PD, but I really don't know. I'd
like to share some of what has happened to me over the past 22 years
and tell you about some coping skills I learned that has helped me .
On The Attack
I don't know what's come over me,
This illness, that I feel.
The doctors say, there's nothing wrong,
But, I know how I feel.
I cannot fall asleep at night,
And when I do, I wake.
This illness that I feel is real,
There can be no mistake.
Sometimes, the palpitations,
In my chest, give me a start.
I'm almost sure, there's something wrong,
It has to be my heart.
So nervous, I can almost feel,
My skin begin to crawl.
Depression comes on suddenly,
And all I do is bawl.
Sometimes, I think, I'm going to faint,
When I am in a store.
Then, all that I can think about,
Is running to the door.
Sometimes, I get a hot flash,
When I'm driving all alone.
And pray, "Oh, please don't let me die,
Until, I get back home."
Don't want to go out publicly,
I know I will get sick.
And everybody, that I know,
Is getting tired of it.
The doctors and my friends all say,
There's nothing wrong with me.
"Someday," I tell them, "when I die,
You all will finally see."
Until that day, when they reflect,
And they remember back,
I sit and wait to have my next,
'ANXIETY ATTACK'
™PoppyK1@aol.com
In August of 1977, I was hit with something that is almost
impossible to explain. I had just turned 30 and I felt that I had the
world on a string. My husband had a good job, we were
building a new home, I was a stay at home Mom by choice,
and I could do anything I wanted to. Our lives really were
stress free and it was wonderful.
I will never forget that first Panic Attack, and when I think back
on it, it's like it just happened yesterday. When the attack hit,
I was out with my husband and friends and we were having
a great time. All of a sudden, I started having this odd
sensation come over me. Then all those sensations became
like an intense fear, as though I was dying. I was rushed to
the Emergency Room and was given a shot of Valium, sent home
and was told to see my Dr. the following day. Well, I did see him
and he didn't tell me I had a panic attack, he just said it was
probably low sugar, and if I felt like that again, to eat some
sugar cubes. I wasn't comfortable in the office, but I didn't
say anything, thinking it was just "nerves" as that's what Drs.
like to tell women. Especially back then, as no one knew what
panic attacks were. That night, I had those feelings come over
me again, and again was rushed to the Emergency Room. Oh,
and yes, I did eat the sugar cubes which I know now is wrong
for me to do. After the second attack, I stopped going out
but I did see a psychiatrist, as my family Dr. was depleted
on his guessing as to what was wrong with me.
I wish I could say the psychiatrist helped me, but all he did
was fill me full of medications, of which most I had very bad
side effects. I think he tried them all on me, but he never told
me what was wrong with me. By this time, I was totally
housebound, not being able to talk on the phone, open the door
and reach for the mail, have company, read a newspaper, or
be able to take care of me. I even became roombound for
awhile and would have a panic attack just going to the kitchen
or any other room in the house. And I was filled with
medications and still couldn't do anything. I remember watching
my neighbors coming and going, carrying in the groceries,
going to church, taking their kids to the park, and everything I
had once done. You don't miss those things til you can't do
them anymore. I don't take those things for granted anymore.
I kept seeing the psychiatrist, but the only way I was able
to go, was if my husband took me and I was drugged to an almost
sleep state. I finally gave up hope and only went to the Drs. for
my medications, although they sure didn't help me much. I figured
being drugged up was better than being in a state of panic
all the time. I was housebound for a total of 8 years.
One day my husband showed me an article in the newspaper
by Dear Abbey. I couldn't believe what I was reading! A
woman had written in and I could relate to everything she was
saying. After all the money and time spent seeing Drs, and
never getting a name to what was wrong with me, I finally
found out it was called Agoraphobia. I was thrilled to find out
I wasn't crazy, that others felt like I did, too, and that there was
a name to this horrible thing that had happened to me.
Agoraphobia !!!!!!!!!!
I was still housebound, but now I knew I wasn't the only one
who felt like this and for some reason, this helped me in
how I felt about "me." I decided to see another psychiatrist who
prescribed the medicine that works for me. I then took a home
course called TERRAP and did as they told me to do. I couldn't
go to their meetings, so the home course was my only option. Through
the course, I was taught how to breathe correctly, I learned
relaxation therapy, desensitizing, imagery, visualization, how to
raise my self esteem and start getting my life back. I learned
how to tell when an attack was coming on and how to "try"
and stop it. I also learned to find my stimuli, and found if I
could figure out what it was right away, I could stop a full
blown attack. I won't say this was easy to do and it did take
time for me to learn and recognize things. But, I'm not housebound
anymore and today, nearly 23 years later, I do just about
anything I want. I'm still restricted in some things I do, but those
will become easier in time, with continued practice. I've suffered
setbacks, which have made me housebound again several times, but
I get right back out and start practicing again. I will always have
Agoraphobia as it is caused by a chemical imbalance, but I'm
not as afraid of it as I once was. I won't ever let this take control of
my life again, I am in control of "it."
I've condensed this story so I can tell you some things I've
learned to help me with my Panic Disorder. I'll start with some of
the feelings that most people get when an attack is coming on.
shortness of breath (or smothering sensations),dizziness, sweating,
unsteady feelings, or faintness, palpitations or accelerated
heart rate (tachycardia), trembling or shaking, choking, nausea or
abdominal distress, depersonalization or derealization,
numbness or tingling sensations (paresthesias), fear of dying,
flushes (hot flashes) or chills, chest pain or discomfort,
fear of going crazy or doing something uncontrolled.
Agoraphobia
The term agoraphobia has been widely misunderstood. Its literal
definition suggests a fear of "open spaces". However, this is
an incomplete and misleading view. Agoraphobics are not
necessarily afraid of open spaces. Rather, they are afraid of
having panicky feelings, wherever these fearful feelings may occur.
For many, they happen at home, in houses of worship, or in crowded
supermarkets, places that are certainly not "open". It is the fear of
experiencing a panic attack in a place or situation from which
escape may be difficult or embarrassing. In fact, agoraphobia
is a condition which develops when a person begins to avoid
spaces or situations associated with anxiety. Typical "phobic
situations" might include driving, shopping, crowded places,
traveling, standing in line, being alone, meetings and social
gatherings. The person will begin to avoid the situations
where he or she feels uncomfortable.
Initial Panic Attack
Initial panic attacks may occur when people are under considerable
stress, from an overload of work, for example, or from the loss
of a family member or close friend. The attacks may also follow
surgery, a serious accident, illness, or childbirth. Excessive
consumption of caffeine or use of cocaine or other stimulant drugs
or medicines, such as the stimulants used in treating asthma,
can also trigger panic attacks.
Importance of Getting Help
Panic disorder, marked by repeated episodes of devastating fear
(called "panic attacks"), is a highly treatable condition. The sooner
you seek and receive help, the sooner you will recover. If you
don't seek treatment at all, you are in danger of losing control of
your life.
-- You may continue to have panic attacks for years.
-- Your life may become severely restricted.
-- You may find it difficult to be productive at work.
-- You may find it difficult to be productive at work.
Early Treatment
Treatment can bring significant relief to 70 to 90 percent of people
with panic disorder, and early treatment can help keep the disease
from progressing to the later stages where agoraphobia develops.
Before undergoing any treatment for panic disorder, a person should
undergo a thorough medical examination to rule out other possible
causes of the distressing symptoms. This is necessary because a
number of other conditions, such as excessive levels of thyroid
hormone, certain types of epilepsy, or cardiac arrhythmias,
which are disturbances in the rhythm of the heartbeat, are symptoms
resembling those of panic disorder.
Most Effective Treatment for Agoraphobia
The most effective treatment for agoraphobic avoidance is
exposure in vivo (exposure in real life situations). Exposure in
vivo is one technique of cognitive behaviour therapy (CBT).
75% - 90% of people with panic - agoraphobia benefit from CBT.
Cognitive techniques are aimed at the catastrophic misinterpretation
of physical symptoms. That is, they give a rational and realistic
explanation of bodily actions. In order to control panic attacks
breathing techniques for hyperventilation control are sometimes taught.
Cognitive-behavioral therapy generally requires at least 8 to 12
weeks . Some people may need a longer time in treatment to learn
and implement the skills. This kind of therapy, which is reported
to have a low relapse rate, is effective in eliminating panic
attacks or reducing their frequency. It also reduces anticipatory
anxiety and the avoidance of feared situations.
15 COPING TIPS
Change "What If's" to "So What".
Stay in the present.
Don't judge your feelings.
Thoughts and feeling are NOT actions.
What am I telling myself that is scaring me?
I am what I tell myself.
The more I do, the more I can do.
I've done it before, I CAN do it again!
I am the same person, here or in my safe place.
I can handle it, nothing terrible will happen.
The feeling are distressing, NOT dangerous.
In reality, there is nothing that can hurt me here.
The anxiety can only go so high and then it comes down.
SLOW DOWN.
Take slow, deep breaths.
TWENTY WAYS TO MANAGE STRESS
Work off stress.
Talk to someone you trust.
Learn to accept what you cannot change.
Avoid self medication.
Get enough sleep to recharge your batteries.
Take time out to play.
Do something for others.
Take one thing at a time.
Agree with somebody.
Manage your time better.
Plan ahead.
If you are ill, don't try and carry on as if you're not.
Develop a hobby.
The answer lies with you.
Eat sensibly and exercise.
Don't put off relaxing.
Don't be afraid to say no.
Know when you are tired and do something about it.
Delegate resonsibilty.
Be realistic about perfection.
Breathing Technique
Feel your stomach rise...your ribs expand...and your collar-bone rise
Breathe in naturally and slowly. On your next exhalation, release
all the air from your lungs without straining...Let it go...
Let it all out...Prepare your lungs to receive fresh oxygen.
Breathe in...Your diaphragm is stimulating your vagus nerve,
slowing down the beating or your heart... Relaxing you.
Relaxation Exercise
Progressive Relaxation
Deep breathe 3 times.
Starting from your head, and working downward toward your feet,
tense and relax groups of muscles. Each time you tense, hold for a
few seconds and then release. Tense and relax each group 3 times
before moving on to the next one.
Head - tighten your face, clench your jaw, wrinkle your forehead, etc.
Shoulders - shrug them up toward your ears.
Arms and hands - tighten all the muscles in you arms, curling them
up to your chest. Clench your fists.
Chest, back, and abdomen - tense every muscle that you can.
Buttocks - Clench tight.
Legs - lift them off the floor up toward your abdomen, curl your toes.
When you relax, let your feet stamp onto the floor.
Deep breathe 3 times.
Repeat cycle as many times as desired. If a particular muscle
or group of muscles are tense, repeat more than 3 times in each cycle.
There are other relaxation techniques and if you write to me,
I'll send some to you.
Imagery
Pick a scene that is relaxing for you, such as a beach, forest, etc.
For my exercise, I enjoy the beach, so I am using that for this example.
The sounds of the ocean relax me and help me to imagine the beach,
so I have a tape of ocean sounds playing in the background.
Close your eyes. Deep breathe 3 times.
Picture yourself walking along the beach. The sun is shining on you,
warm but comfortable. Feel the soft sand under your feet and the
water tickling your toes. Listen to the sound of the waves lapping at
the shore. The breeze brushes your face. You can taste the salt in the air.
(Visualize the details, but not so much so that you tense up from trying
too hard) The sky is orange, pink, and purple as the sun begins
to set. You can see shells in the sand, all different colors and
shapes. Birds glide along the shoreline. You walk slowly,
leisurely along. You sit down at the waters edge, so that the waves
lap over you (only to your waist or so) The waves flow over you,
and back to the sea. As each wave recedes, you feel more of your
stress and tension wash away with it. Your skin tingles with the
warmth of the sun. The gentle waves lap at you over and over.
You feel yourself more and more calm, more relaxed. When you
are ready, get up, and continue on down the beach, taking that
warm, tingling calm with you to whatever lies ahead.
Slowly open your eyes.
Systematic Desensitization
A step by step behavior modification program where patients gradually
expose themselves to a stimulus (situations, people or places)
that previously resulted in panic or anxiety. Relaxation techniques
are learned first and then applied to an anxiety/panic hierarchy.
It may be desirable to take the steps slowly in order to maximize
the chances for mastery. It is helpful to discuss this technique
with your therapist to determine if this or other treatment
strategies can be utilized.
Education
Patients can learn a lot about the treatment of anxiety and panic attacks
from doctors, therapists and other members of the treatment team.
Patients who have been able to reduce their symptoms can offer
other patients education in therapeutic groups about what has worked
for them. Knowledge can be empowering and reduce anxiety because
patients understand their symptoms better.
I have tried to explain some about Agoraphobia and its symptoms,
some coping skills and therapy that have been known to help.
Some of what I've told you on this page is what I've learned through
experience and some information was compiled by : National
Institutes of Health, National Institute of Mental Health,
NIH Publication, and TERRAP. You will find this link
and many more on my Home Page.
Please go to Page 2 for more Tips on
Coping
Feel free to E-Mail me if I can help in any way
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